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I Feel Real Guilty

A memoir of Sibling Sexual Abuse

Available Fall 2024, both in audio and paper
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Book Summary

In a world too often silent about the deepest of wounds, comes a story that breaks through the darkness. “I Feel Real Guilty,” penned by Jane Epstein, isn’t just a memoir; it’s a revelation. This is the raw, unfiltered tale of a woman’s fight from the grips of sibling sexual abuse into the embrace of empowerment and healing. Meet Jane, whose childhood was stolen, whose innocence was shattered, yet whose spirit refused to break. Journey with her from the nights she stood alone on a strip club stage, lost and seeking love in all the wrong places, to the day she stood tall on an international TEDx stage, a beacon of hope and strength for those still trapped in silence. “I Feel Real Guilty” is more than Jane’s story; it’s a call to arms, an invitation for survivors to speak, heal, and reclaim their power. Follow Jane Epstein on her inspiring odyssey from darkness into light, proving that even in our lowest moments, there is hope, there is a way forward, and there is a voice waiting to be heard.

About the author:

Hi, I’m Jane Epstein, Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Speaker, Author, and Advocate for preventing child-on-child sexual abuse.

I did not anticipate stepping onto the TEDx stage at age 53 to share my story about child-on-child sexual abuse, but I knew someone needed to sound the bell on this silent epidemic. When I was six years old, I experienced sexual trauma from an older sibling, sibling sexual abuse. I had spent decades thinking I was complicit in the sexual trauma. But at the age of 45, I was staring down my anger and depression. It was finally time to unravel my past of child-on-child sexual abuse, and that’s when I realized my childhood experience with sibling sexual trauma had profoundly impacted my self-esteem, relationships, and life’s trajectory.

Today I am a survivor of and advocate for survivors of sibling sexual abuse and trauma. That includes:

Survivors of child-on-child sexual abuse and trauma by a sibling, step-sibling, cousin, or older adolescent.

Parents who have discovered harmful sexual behaviors within their homes.

Children who have caused harm through child-on-child abuse.

As a survivor of and advocate for survivors of Sibling Sexual Abuse and Trauma, I am a Co-Founder of both IncestAWARE.org and 5WAVES.org, an international 501(c)3 advocacy group that offers information, support, and guidance about Sibling Sexual Abuse and Trauma. I am one of 12 moderators of a survivor Facebook group with 7,000 members, and my TEDx talk entitled “Giving Voice to Sibling Sexual Abuse” has already reached over 600,000 people. My story was featured in People magazine’s 10/31/22 issue, and I contributed to The Sunday Times Magazine, in the cover story, “Revealed: The Hidden Crime of Sibling Sexual Abuse, authored by The Times' Decca Aitkenhead

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Praise from the Sexual Abuse Survivor Community

At last, a call to break the silence on a topic too often left in the dark.

‘I Feel Real Guilty’ navigates through Jane’s tumultuous journey from confusion and self-destruction—evidenced by her teenage years marked by rebellion, a misguided search for love, and a descent into depression—to her ultimate emergence as a beacon of hope, strength, and resilience.

‘I Feel Real Guilty’ serves as a crucial dialogue on the importance of sharing our stories, finding community, and not carrying the burden of trauma alone.

Watch my TEDx Talk

“Giving Voice to Sibling Sexual Abuse.”

It’s been viewed over 600,000 times.

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I Feel Real Guilty

A memoir of Sibling Sexual Abuse

I Feel Real Guilty_A Memoir of Sibling Sexual Abuse_Jane Epstein
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